This summer isn’t as much as I had hoped it would be
I’m just doing my best to keep it together nd feel okay. I wish life would really start to take off for me already tho, everybody else is going sumwhere in life, and it just seems like im being left behind.
I’ve been trying my best to feel happy but deep down ik I’m not satisfied with myself. School, my career, my job, my family and friends. I feel so pathetic compared to everybody else being so happy and content with themselves, nd yet I keep lying to myself saying I’m fine and happy. Idk how anybody can do it. I hav no motivation anymore and that’s just plain stupid. I’ve been worried about so many things lately i think I’m going nuts. It’s summer and I just wana have fun but for sum reason im always getting bummed out. I’m tired of just feeling like a loser my whole life.
You think your life sucks, well it’s a shame you did it to yourself
Once again I come home at 4 in the morning and my brother is up to no good. No matter how long I try to stay away from this bullshit it’s never enough. I’m so sick of the fucking fighting. I blame the stupid fucks in this town who do so much drugs and corrupt everybody around them. No matter who you meet for sum reason every new friend just loves to do dope with you.
Once you are too blind to see the people who really care about you anymore and consider them to be an obstacle in your life, then your better off just dead to them..and that’s how I already feel towards you. I guess I’m not one to say shit because I get high at least 3 times a day, but at least I’m working 5 days a week and I’m still in school. I don’t believe any of the bullshit you tell me anymore, and how much you care about us; especially after you got thrown out last year. You got fired for drugs from your last 4 jobs, kicked out of school 3 times, been to rehab twice, and been charged with at least over 120 grand in court fees over the last 7 years. Your a fucking fuck up, and your making my life so much more than you could ever care about. I have so much more shit to worry about in my life, and you always piling stress on top of it all is something I finally accepted as a waste of my time.
It’s fucking time to realize that if this is what you want with your life than stay the hell away from the people who don’t want your shit in their lives. Live with your own problems, why do we all have to suffer because of you.